The Woods Natural Park Resort Phuket

I have never been to prison, but I’ve stayed at The Woods Natural Park Resort, and I imagine the transition to a high-security penitentiary would be a lateral move at best. The staff greeted us with all the compassion and warmth of Josef Fritzl welcoming a new guest to his basement. Their customer service philosophy seems to be ‘less is more’. The room was a masterclass in architectural neglect. The air conditioning unit didn’t just cool the room; it functioned as a water feature, specifically designed to leak directly into your bed at 3:00 AM. If the water doesn't wake you up, the black mould—which is clearly the dominant life form on the property—will certainly start a conversation with you. Safety is also a "choose your own adventure" experience, as the barriers on the high ledges are entirely missing, presumably to keep the guests on their toes (or off them, permanently). On the plus side, they are very focused on hydration: they provide a generous 300ml of drinking water per person, per day. It’s the perfect amount if your goal is to die of thirst while being actively drowned by your own ceiling

Das Zimmer war wunderschön, die Ausstattung toll, vor allem die Aussicht war hervorragend. Das Personal war sehr freundlich.

Det som var bra var att det var sköna sängar, AC och Läget. Dock det fanns lite damm och märkliga kryp vid diskhon.

As a very frequent flier i can tell the quality/price ratio of this hotel is one of the worst I ever experienced. 2 times out of 3 there was no one at the reception. Even to check-in we had to look for someone. The “restaurant”, if you can call it like that, closes at 18.00! And there is no room service after fhat time. There is not even a vending machine if you need a bottle of water. I had to insist to have a second key for our room (apparently going against the hotel “policy”) just not to have to shut all the lights off and the airco or disturb my wife while she was showering and I had go go out. We stayed three nights and they never withdrew the garbage (by the way there was no garbage bin nor bags and we had to use some from grocery) despite telling every morning. I left laundry to wash and was told I would get it the next morning. Guess what? It took two days to get it back and only after my complain! By the way it was not delivered in the room. I had to pick it up myself at reception. TV was a smart one but disconnected from internet so we had few options to watch! No Prime no Netflix possible. Every time I told them to fix it they said “tomorrow we will fix”. Guess what, they never did. Pictures on the web and expedia show bungalow like accomodations. Don’t be fooled. You won’t sleep there. The Villas are not part of the hotel. You will sleep in an anonymous buidling badly maintained. To conclude, personnel speaks por english making any conversation painful.

Hmm ikke lige noget for os vi følte vi blev meget dårligt modtaget da vi kom direkte fra 14 timers flyvetur… Vi kunne ikke tjekke ind og der sidder 2 meget unge og er fuldstændig ligeglad med at man gerne vil skifte tøj og tages godt imod… det bare vores oplevelse heldigvis var de søde med at vi kun fik en overnatning og så kunne vi skifte hotel. Noget andet var nok også at det virkelig lå ude i ingen ting og vi var nok vandt til at bo i den gode side af kamala ved vandet ikke noget ondt ellers herfra