Hampton Inn Farmville, VA

I have reached that end stage of life where checking into a hotel isn't an adventure—it's a peace treaty with my aging body and weird crotch hair. I arrived with a tired dark soul, a pizza, and dreams of TV before drifting off around midnight. The hotel was barely half full, yet at 1:15 a.m. the front desk placed a late-arriving family with teenagers and small children in the adjoining room next to mine. Multiple door slams. Crying.Tiny elephant feet. Dark thoughts multiply. Will this be the night I snap? The connecting door had all the soundproofing of damp cardboard myn hound dog peed on. 7:13 a.m., the four-year-old unleashed an ear-hole-destroying symphony of prehistoric wailing. It was almost funktacular in its commitment to misery. I surrendered, packed my bags, skipped the breakafst and escaped Farmville. What baffles me is that dozens of empty rooms sat unused. Why not group late check-ins and familiys with kids together and let them torment each other instead of the handicap room old folk? This was the most expensive hotel in Farmville that night, yet I'd likely have slept better at the cheap drug den at Super 8. Sometimes you just miss the simpler days, when common sense checked guests in before the computer did. Boomer. The pizza, at least, never made a sound. Maybe every hotel becomes a metaphor: thin walls, expensive promises, a roll of the dice + an AI algorithm slowly killing everyone. Sleep should come with the room key! And they charge for parking.

Will revisit

The night staff guy bishop deserves a raise. Nicest kindest person i have ever met.

Everything was wonderful

The staff was friendly and professional. Breakfast was good. The room was clean but wasn't the room I requested